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It is I, Leclerc [24 Dec 2007|01:43am]
You can pretty much tell when I'm back at my Mum's and have chosen to go home earlier than I would like to from a night out...I tend to lean towards the virtual world and spout a whole host of bananatesticles.

(That wasn't a typo, I intended it to be one word).

It's been approximately one whole year since I last wrote in this thing. I would start from the beginning but as I have no idea where the beginning was, it's not a very good place to start. So I'll start with what I can remember.

I got a new job last December working in IT for a pharmaceutical company. It was an excellent job and I excelled in the role, always nice. I had my own team and lots of important roles.

Dave got himself a job in June, starting in September, in Birmingham, as a graduate engineer.

I found a job in Coventry and on 9th September we moved to Warwick, where we currently reside.

We live in a yuppie flat and everything upto now (ever the realist!) has been hunkydory and I am a lucky chump.

My niece says things like "cheesey rabbits" - a clear indication she will grow up with as much sense as I exhibit.

I regularly return to the parental base to visit friends and obviously family. My friends are fucking amazing and I don't know what the hell I would do without them. They're so diverse and yet we are united by this linguistic bond...it's mental really.

Because I'm me I nearly broke my limbs on Friday night trying to dance a dance I am now too old to do.

I am 24. There's a sentence I never hoped to say.

I am working in sales. There's another one.

I use my french on a daily basis. That one is almost impossible as I can't speak French.

I'm obviously slightly joking about that last bit. I am speaking French every day in my current position though.

Dave is ace.

I am lucky.

I like cheese.

And fudge.

Peace out, I hope the world is shiny for everyone.

If you still read these things, buzz me sometime!

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[13 Mar 2007|01:36am]
Well I'm off to the GCHQ tests on Sunday...before that however... BARCELONA! We're going tomorrow...get in!!!  Update when I get back if you're lucky! If anyone wants anything Spanishy or indeed cigarettey, email/text me and I'll endeavour to bring it back!

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[01 Mar 2007|10:50pm]
I got through the first stage of GCHQ application process! Can I get a hell yeah?!  The next stage is a couple of tests in Gloucester in a few weeks.  This will be a lot harder, but I'm damn sure going to give it a try.  I got through the first round, which to be fair I should've, I answered everything they would want and I pretty much have all the kind of experience they'd be looking for in someone, despite only being 6 months out of a pointless degree.  Get in!!
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Ramblings of a lunatic -My interpretation of a sandwich. [30 Jan 2007|12:18am]

You know how I like to find the smallest thing, and however crap, make the most of it, or in the least spot the eensiest bit of good in it?  Well I needed a sandwich for work today and Dave made me a cheese sandwich.  Two slices of tiger bread, with some emmental cheese stuck between them, no added butter.  And it was just delicious, neither the bread nor the cheese were extraordinary, nor did he use some spectacular method of making it/add something flavourful.   I guess what I'm trying to say is, a sandwich tastes better if Dave makes it.  Or maybe I mean "love is...a cheese sandwich", because I don't do philosophy very well but I think that sums it up.  Making a cheese sandwich does not require intellect or indeed much effort.  Which is maybe why it tastes so much better when someone else makes one for you, knowing that you could have made it yourself, and you can, because it certainly doesn't involve any maths or complicated brain work, and yet someone has said, "hey you know what? I'll put that cheese between the bread for you, you have a rest".  Possibly I am not very good for liman's web-as I was about to type (aren't Spoonerisms fabulous?), women's lib is what I meant to say.  I like the chivalry thing, and I like the cheese sandwich thing.  Does it make me odd that I have spent a good few minutes of my life raving about cheese sandwiches?

Right I'm off to bed with cheese on my mind and a gleam in my eye, I'm a loked out fool...lalalalala and my homies is down so don't arouse my anger. xxxxxxxx

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[24 Jan 2007|12:04am]
I'd like to say i don't update because there's nothing interesting going on.  But honestly, right now I'm loving my job so much, I have the fabulously pretty Dave as my right hand man and my best friend got engaged last week...so really it's all pretty much fabulous.  I do however, have some news.  My friend Jen (different best friend, but best friend nonetheless) is moving back from boyfriend hell in york and we are going to bachelorette flat hunt!!  We are going to get an uber funky uber modern flat/house near where we shall be working!! It's gonna be fab!!!!!

Peace out xx
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Year in Review [03 Jan 2007|11:36pm]
As I told Betty yesterday, 2006 was one of the less great years of my life, although clearly there will be worse to come one day!  I think best not to dwell on the shit and focus on the good, namely: Dave, Graduating (with or without the desire classification), finally starting a job using my languages and that didn't make me feel like i was wasting my life, realising how wonderful my friends really are, realising the brevity of life and possibly, finally actually doing something about it.   Yes, honestly, aside from the very Jennylike way of avoiding the realism and saying "I got pissed incessantly for three months from may-july-wahey", there really wasn't much good for me last year, although I am aware that the majority of people in this world would view my "bad year" as a better option than they were entitled to.  Let's hope 2007 is a little brighter.  The fact that it began with him is a bonus point.  I think!
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So Happy Christmas I love you baby...... [02 Jan 2007|01:09am]
I don't know if I'm simply getting old, my interests are changing or I have reached this incredible level of contentedness with my boy but last night we ended up driving back from his to mine only to return an hour later and enjoy the festivities with his sister, brother-in-law and sister's friends, and all we really did was drink and talk and I'd not met the others before, and they're all a lot older than me, but damn, that was just one of the best new year's ever. Maybe it's because there was no hype. I'd resigned myself to a few drinks with the man I *squee* and then we ended up just having fun and giggles, and we duetted on Fairytale of New York and we sang "The Wheels on the Bus" instead of "Auld Lang Syne" because, let's face it, no-one knows the words to the latter and you can bet your bottom dollar that everyone knows the words to the wheels on the bus!! It was good to be with other people who shared the same contempt for new year but at the same time be with him. And when he climbed into bed 2 hours after me wreaking of Champagne, I was so unbelievably happy. I think this is what I always thought New Year should be like.
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[19 Dec 2006|07:07pm]
Probably should have mentioned a few things. I am newly employed as a European IT Helpdesk Analyst, servicing the world with my language and IT skills. They pay me twice as much as the Market Research people paid me! Woot. Dave and I have been together a mahoosive 15 months...cannot believe it...I'm slightly scared! The crash happened en route to Birmingham and involved a stolen ferrari (possibly two) a mercedes, and a flaming Citroen C4 (Dave's ex car!) he pulled me from the burning Citroen so forgive me if I worship the ground he walks on. I suffered injuries of a nasty but lucky nature, given the severity of the impact etc, I got away lightly with some bruising, a cracked rib and some very painful, but not life-threatening, whiplash. Dave limped off with the whiplash and a chemical burn from the airbag, he's ok now, I still need painkillers to sleep and get up, I was hit on the side by a merc though, in my defence. We're very lovely and shall hopefully spend this weekend together woot! My friend Jenga may well hopefully return to the Wirral following a disastrous attempt at co-habiting with a bumface! Fingers crossed for her finding work that makes her happy and eventually a nice man to cheer her up!

Big up yourselves.

Yen xx
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[19 Dec 2006|01:02am]
I rarely use this thing any more, mostly due to lack of internet access, but also I just seem to be rather busy with work, Dave and friendlies.

Talking of which: www.jenontour.co.uk/crash for some images of how we nearly died. He saved my life. and I love every fibre of that boy's being.
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[27 Sep 2006|11:01pm]
Will you kiss me again so I can pretend we're kissing for the first time Because when we kissed for the first time I was distracted. I couldn't believe it was true that I was truly really finally kissing you. Will you hug me again so I can pretend we're embracing for the first time. Cause when you held me for the first time I lost my senses. I couldn't believe it was real Inside I was laughing and dancing like peppermint eels

You are a miracle like Madeline Meech consoling moaning stallions on the beach. While they choke up foam for the tide hahahahaha hahahahaha

May we dance again so I can pretend we're dancing for the first time Because when we danced for the first time I was so nervous. I could hardly stay on my feet. My felicity must not have been very discreet. Will you give me your hand so I can pretend I'm holding it for the first time? Let's do everything for the first time forever. And if forever you are my friend I'll never ever feel unhappy again

You are a miracle like Hanze Cercheek transposing scores by Satie on the beak of an inimical red breasted lark hahahahaha hahahahaha.
Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahaha
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[25 Sep 2006|09:48pm]
Dear world. 
One year!! One fabulous year! We reached it, we lived it, we celebrated it, and goddamn it, he's brilliant.  I couldn't have imagined a more perfect way to spend it, and for the most part, it was all his idea.


Jen xx

I'm just skimming stones...
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[19 Sep 2006|09:20pm]
Dear world! I have a new abode. I have a new home number, and, obviously, a new address!!  I shall disclose it to those who show interest in being privy to such highly classified information.  

House is rocking, although still a little "all over the place", my room still has many boxes which need to be rifled through and thoroughly sorted, especially if the pretty one is heading my way this weekend-which he hopefully will!

Job is still as ridiculous as ever, imagine the kind of company where the MD is unable to open a file attachment and most of the staff refer to customers who BROUGHT reports and often apologise for their "pronounciation" and are just generally a complete bunch of lower-scale IQ morons.  That's where I am currently working, and, were it not for the fact that my workstation is nearly as old as I am and therefore incapable of most functions one would expect of a modern personal computer, I would actually chronicle the events of my days in a weblog which would be amazingly profitable because you couldn't imagine a bigger bunch of morons.  

"Is you Spanish or something? 'Cos Caroline said you have some stickers on your car or summat?"
"No, I'm not Spanish, I just lived there for a year and I really liked it so I bought the stickers of the area I lived in"
"Did you take your car when you was there?"
etc etc it's like English for beginners/retards.  

Still, FCO applications are open again and Dave's sister has sent me a rather helpful email, so maybe I won't be stuck in this job forever!!

Peace out

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[12 Sep 2006|09:43pm]
The more I read and the more crimewatch I see, the more disgusted I am by the society in which we live, and terrified, so very terrified.  And I also do genuinely believe that men who commit one, just one, sexual attack, however "minor", should be removed of both testicles and their penis.  In fact, this should be addressed Dear Tony/Tony's replacement.  The kind of person who commits a sexual act, of any nature, be it rape or whatever, is the kind of person who should not be allowed to reproduce and should not be given a second chance.  I am often labelled weird for my opinions on crime, but although I would obviously never condone or applaud murder, there are instances where I do believe that one could be caught up in the moment and it can sometimes be provoked by something.  Murder is clearly a heinous act and disgusting, but sometimes there are circumstances where it is excusable I suppose is the word I'm after...like a knee jerk reaction that is not acceptable but understandable...whereas I cannot possibly think of a reason that raping/assualting/groping someone could ever be justified.  And as such, those who commit such a crime, even if they are of ill health, should be prevented from being capable of it again.  I am aware that those with hands can still perform lots of disgusting acts but at least the lack of penis would instill in them some sort of  inferiority complex.

Yes, just another rant from jengaroos R US!
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[10 Sep 2006|10:23pm]
Well I'm back from another fabulous weekend in Southport!  We didn't really do much but it was still just nice to be together and it was fun, very fun!  We had a curry on friday and watched red dwarf with ste.  They then put batman begins on, but as I'd seen it only a couple of weeks ago, I fell asleep!! Haha.  Saturday we got up late and headed for lunch in a local pub, then we got a mr whippy on the beach and watched tv all afternoon!! He cooked dinner for me and we watched... a film...what film?! Brain Dead!! It was hilaaaaaaaaaarious!! I fell asleep a tiny bit in that though, so Dave sent me to bed!! Then we watched his electrified monkey on C&C and I went to sleep. Today we went for lunch which turned into a bit of a shambles and then we watched Crocodile Dundee and that was it really.  Lovely weekend!

Oh, and my boobs have grown back thanks to the high levels of oestrogen in them!  This is a bittersweet moment.  Bitter for me, because although I missed them, they do get in the way, and sweet for Dave, who thinks it's fabulous that I have self-inflating breasts.  That's men for you.

Beddybyes now!
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[03 Sep 2006|10:35pm]

Yesterday I went to Mansfield for Betty's Birthday "Barbecue" which ended up as an indoor buffet that was ridiculously fun and lovely. And as we all kipped out on various parts of her house I asked everyone if we'd still be sleeping on each other's floors when we're 30, and the answer was a resounding yes, provided we had floors upon which to sleep!!

It was most fabulous and I do love my darlings. Twas nice to see Scanlon cos we missed out on it last weekend, I couldn't stop hugging him cos he's my babba! And just everyone...not being with the unicrew for over a month is weird and difficult!!! But I had a great evening with them, and we braved a dangerous pub that sold 20p sugar free orange calypsos! And today we went to sherwood forest and had cream tea and learnt all about Robin Hood and the Major Oak Tree!!!

A good weekend.

Peace Out,

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[31 Aug 2006|07:39pm]
[ mood | Stefani-ing it up ]

Some 'tard at work, on the phone to the courrier company, 

"I'll spell it for ya, cos my pronounciation isn't too good"e.

I laughed all afternoon, and then I pitied myself for living in a society and working for a company that rewards the stupid.  She'll be earning twice what I earn and she can't conjugate basic English verbs in the past tense.  

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[28 Aug 2006|08:52pm]
I watched the red arrows this morning from my window and they are very cool.  I wanted to be a pilot when I was a bit younger and a little (little, mind, not much!) more insane.  Seeing them again today brought it all back, although Dave assures me I don't quite fit height requirements, but I still look at them and think "ooh".  Randomly, I fell asleep on the sofa during Deal or No Deal, woke up and there was a red arrows programme, so I watched that, and at 5.35pm,went to watch Neighbours only to find that it wasn't on til 6pm and that I was on the correct channel :D  I was very happy with that.  Also, Karl Kennedy in leather pants is a fabulous sight to behold!

I've not done much else.  I went in search of the holy grail this morning (not the da vinci shiznay, but eyeliner) and oddly enough, the only place I thought might sell it locally was shut (pharmacy), so I went to the sainsbury's local, and they don't sell shit, so I went to Morrisson's (in a different village) and they don't sell anything vaguely make up related, so I tried the three pharmacies there, all shut.  It was at this point that I cursed my mysterious disappearing eyeliner (not before shedding a few tears for my bare-nekkid eyes,obviously) and then the localness of the area in which I live that means on a bank holiday, everything closes leaving me with bare eyes, the final solution was to drive to Tesco's, all the way past two villages and one town.  In this day and age?! Seriously, what happened to sunday trading laws being over turned and all minimum wagers being forced to work bank holidays!??!  This is ridiculous!!  Sooooo anyway, as much as the giant supermarket monopoly thing is destroying local towns and villages, in their defence, they're the only people who sell eyeliner in a 10 mile radius, and this is on normal days, not just bank holidays.  But yes, so I got my eyeliner, and I bought a cheap back up emergency one in case the situation should ever repeat itself.  Which brings me to...well... after neighbours I watched the soaps and ate dinner (not necessarily in that order) and spoke to Dave (aww:D)and have done nothing else.  And now it's time for bed!  Fabulous. 

He's coming over on Friday and then the weekend after I should be going to his or vice versa...not sure yet.

Found out today I'm only earning marginally more than I would temping so I may investigating language temping agencies locally.  Whilst this is just a short term thing, as I have a permanent contract I feel obliged to tell people this is my current occupation, which means that when I meet new people I die a little inside.  I vow to not be so negative about my job, after all, where else does one get to learn the German for "excess sewage water pipe"? and other such fabulous gems.   Erm yes, watching South Park then beddybyes for lil' ol'me.

Peace out.

The Turd Sandwich.

p.s ah durka durka mohammed jihad.
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[27 Aug 2006|11:09am]
Dear world.

I have been thinking for a long time of changing my name.  Specifically to Miss Sunshine (because a) it's sunny and happy, b) I could be Little Miss Sunshine, and c) my post would come addressed like that.) but I was open to suggestions.  I informed my equally insane friend Rachael of my plans, and she liked it so much she has pressurised me into investigating the prices, and effort involved, and suggested I do it asap so as to avoid needing 2 driving licences this year (after the move).  Whilst researching the process, I discovered that it is perfectly acceptable to change one's name to something "fun", examples cited include Jellyfish McSaveloy and Toasted T. Cake.  The former is not too dissimilar to one of my pseudonyms, Miss Jenunderpants McNulty.  I decided to conduct some research into name suggestions for myself, and I am asking you to be my researchees.  I offered up (aside from Jennifer Sunshine) Cuppa T. Father, and I have so far received the following suggestions: Willie Stroker and P.Nislover. 

I would appreciate your help in suggesting new names or in giving me your opinion on the already suggested examples.

Your pal,

Jengaroo/Jenunderpants/Little Miss Sunshine
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[22 Aug 2006|06:32pm]
There are pictures to be found at http://www.lizwilliamson.fotopic.net/c1059724.html for those of you who wish to see what (un)exciting things I got upto on holiday.  A warning, there is a picture of my bikini-briefed ass.   Not suitable for those of a nervous disposition.  There are also several pictures of BigSdoo's belly.  This is something no one wants to see.

Enjoy.  xx
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[19 Aug 2006|02:11am]
Not to say that weirdness runs in our family, but  my brother tonight hosted a pirate party, then proceeded to the bars in the village, dressed in his getup.  When I arrived home, the house was empty, save for the parrots, palm trees and the inflatable pirate ship,complete with 200 balls.

He arrived soon after and his drunken friends insisted I joined him, so I entertained them until they all left (40 mins ago, approx).  

I felt sad because my pirate outfit, along with all my other dressing up clothes, is in storage. :(
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